I uncovered something I shouldn't have earlier,
now I'm feeling so torn.
Like a piece in my life is gone.
Something that I tried my hardest to not acknowledge.

What would you do.
If your reason for life goes away.
All that you have been doing now,
you feel as though its for naught.

I want somebody to talk to.
Yet I can't find anyone I can confide in.
Its bursting apart, I feel horrible.
The reason I went for A levels,
the reason I am where I am.
The reason I didn't go stray.
The reason...I'm me.

It just disappeared.

I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.

What am I doing, what have I done, what am I to do.
Everyone tells me the same thing.
I know thats the only thing to do.
But, I just really...don't feel like doing it anymore.
I almost went psychotic before,
I remember the trauma.
Not that I hate it or like it,
its just there, whether I like it or not.
Its just there...

and I'm nowhere, noone, nothing.
I feel like a worm.
At least worms can dig holes to go into.
All I can do is hide my face from society,
even if I don't,
nobody really knows,
nobody really cares,
nobody can really tell.

I'm just insignificant in everyone's lives,
even if they are the most significant people in mine.
It dosen't matter, why should I even care.
Why should I.

I...am just a lonely soul.
No matter how hard I try to ignore it.
It'll never go away.

Bian, signing off.

Are your fingers feeling itchy?

Yeah its gonna be out of order for abit.
Please check back in awhile.

Lau, signing off.

Are your fingers feeling itchy?

It is all I can say.
I could hear your confusion, sadness.
I could read your emotions through your words.
Each breath felt like a knife in me.
Will I regret this, I don't know.
What I know is, I'm afraid.
Afraid that it'll end badly.
We might look well together,
but really, we're just different.
Different societal circles, environment, mindsets.
Different industries, academics, worlds.
You are an angel.
I am otherwise.
We do not belong.

Are your fingers feeling itchy?

Hello there, its been awhile.
I don't know what has actually brought me back.
I feel torn.
So torn.

Lau, signing off.

Are your fingers feeling itchy?

我爱你!
愛してる!
Ngor Woi Lei!
Te Amo!
사랑해 !
Je T'aime!
Wah Ai Lih!

Hello there!
Papers are over.
Math results on friday.
Sports fiesta on friday.
Fried food day on friday.
Friday friday friday.
I like fridays.
Its the start of the weekend.
Last weekend I played left 4 dead.
AWESOME!
I'm getting the hang of it.
Learnt a new coin trick.
Gonna show it off in school tomorrow.
I actually have some photos of myself,
but they're already on facebook.
So...don't go check 'em up!
And I am 74% asian.
Oh yeah!
I actually did alot of things these past weeks,
but I am feeling too darn lazy to blog about them.
So, please wait patiently,
as I may post them when I'm feeling hyper.
Or NEVER, NEVER EVER.
Nonetheless, patience is a virtue.
=)
I fared well in MOB today!
I didn't fall asleep.
Econs was pretty fun.
I had 18/25 for my essay and 14(D:)/30 for my SBQ.
Oh wells, a total of 61%(?) I think.
Can't wait to get my accounts and MOB results.
Kinda dreading my GP.
I don't wanna learn that I failed my GP. xD
Bad Bad Bad Bad BAD language I have.
Not much creativity as well.
Actually I do have alot of creative thinking,
just that I don't know how to...maybe not.
I do have critical analysis though! As told by Anthony.
I like to eat pork.
I like to eat beef.
I like to eat chicken.
I like to eat vegetables.
I like to eat fish.
I like to eat cookies.
I like to eat eclairs.
I like to eat cakes.
I like to eat pastries.
I like to eat sweets.
I like to eat coke.
I like to drink coke.
I like to see coke.
I like to feel coke.
I like to smell coke.
But most of all,
I love Angeline.

Bian, signing off.

Are your fingers feeling itchy?

HI! NAPFA is over!
CT in a week!
I'm enjoying life!
Had the best vday!
Life is good.

Bian, signing off.
"Sometimes, the best things
in life aren't things.
Its someone."
Its you. =)

Are your fingers feeling itchy?

Hello there!
I noticed that I have been rather inattentive nowadays.
Am also having problems concentrating,
not to mention my HOT skills have significantly deteriorated as well.
I suppose its the lack of sleep.
I think I shall sleep earlier from now.
For the sake of A levels.

I would like to take this chance to correct something
that I have thought of long ago.
I used to think that I'll learn more as I grow older.
But things have proven otherwise.
I seem to have lost my passion for learning.
I'm learning lesser and lesser as the days go by.
Not just for school, even on my own time.
I need to find back that passion soon,
else I'd be obsolete and lose to the moving time.

I don't want that.
I want to learn, learn, learn.
But, I just don't seem to have the time.
I have other priorities now.
Like studies and stuff,
sigh, what am I to do.

Well bad things aside, this week has been pretty good.
Things are going fine on my side,
very fine, so fine you can't even see anything.
That's just how fine it is.
8 more days to Breakout.
I can hardly wait, Breakout with Angeline, x)
That's how I'm going to spend my Valentine's day,
what about you?
I am Mr. Bean Grower.
=)

Bian, signing off.

Are your fingers feeling itchy?

Fabian Lau
18
9th November 1990
Scorpio
Millennian
Sianzzz@hotmail.com

December 2008
January 2009
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August 2009

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